So after years of letting ourselves go, the missus and I decided enough was enough. I had gotten so out of shape I couldn’t remember which knee was the good knee and which one I had injured years ago.

Like everything I do things should be simple enough but rarely are.

We ordered the home gym through Wally World back in May. To save over $200 in shipping charges we used their site to store plan where they just send it to a store of your choosing. Sounds simple enough.

My father in law and I went to pick it up in what used to be the layaway area. Just push a button and someone will be right with you. After a thirty minute wait and at least seven employees asking the same question “Have you been helped?” followed inevitably by the follow up “Let me get someone.”  Finally someone came in the persona of a four foot tall and equally wide young lady. I explained to her that it was rather heavy so she got a gentleman from sporting goods that looked like when he was not at work he used a walker. We helped them load it and they told us to just take it out the garden center. No one even checked our receipt as we went by, should have thrown a Plasma TV on top I guess, but we aren’t those kind of guys.

So after our little field trip to Wally World we headed to the house to throw this bad boy together. It was going along rather swimmingly until we got to the point where we were supposed to add the actual weights. They were no where to be found. Using the limited 3 plus years of forced Spanish classes and my Jesuit education I determined that the box was one of three. I called the store to ask about the other boxes and spoke with a Co Manager who informed me they had not been shipped.

So the next day, I call customer service and tell them they need to ship the weights. I am told they can’t, it only comes as set. They tell me to just return unit to store. I explain unit has exploded in my garage and it will never fit back in box while also explaining the weight issue. She finally sees things my way and says she will just credit my account and I can re order and have shipped to house, even offering to cover the shipping. Knowing that it will ship on an 18 wheeler, and there is no way someone is pushing that thing on a pallet up my driveway, I ask to have it shipped to store again.

Sounds simple enough so far.

Now, you may ask yourself why don’t I just order the weights? The answer is twofold. One it would not be ethical really to screw the Great Satan I mean Wally World out of a home gym for just the cost of the weights. And secondly, the manufacturer does not sell just the weights, you have to buy the whole system.

So next day I go to reorder and my order is denied as my Wally World credit card does not have enough credit. Apparently they can put a charge on in two seconds but the reverse takes 30 to 60 days. So we wait with a half exploded home gym in my otherwise non pristine garage.

I kind of forget about it for a bit, I kind of procastinate a bit and then comes the day that I see the credit has come. Like a boy at Christmas I head back to website and discover they no longer offer site to store on this item. So besides the aforementioned delivery, inertia, gravity, driveway problem; I would now have to pay the $200 plus dollars for shipping and figure a way to meet driver and get it up the driveway.

At this point I decide that I am now the proud owner of a half exploded, half assembled albatross of a weight machine in my garage. Which is okay I guess because I have never been able to actually park a car in a garage for any significant portion of my adult life.

Patience is a virtue and good things come to those who  weight wait. While surfing the net one day I decide to check the Evil Empire’s website and discover that the machine is now available for site to store delivery once again. The stars have aligned as I actually don’t like shopping there, my credit line is enough to re purchase the set.

Picking up the unit went smoothly. A strapping young man arrived within minutes, loaded it on cart and we proceeded to the garden center where our receipt was dutifully checked. And two associates did not ask us if we needed help, they actually loaded the dang thing in our vehicle.

After three nights of diagrams and charts and parts we got the thing together.

I have been using for about week and half now bad news is I now remember which knee it is I blew out a few years ago. The good news is I believe that I have highly reduced my chances of being pushed back into the surf in the Bahamas.

P.S. If anyone knows where to pick up two boxes of Spanish language Weider weights, I know someone with a half exploded home gym they picked up cheap.