What do bagel executions and cat ranching have in common anyhow?

On Saturday the missus and I decided to take a little shopping adventure.

I did not realize at the time that I purchased the house that the color of the kitchen counter top would affect my appliance budget negatively in Fiscal Year 2008. Apparently they will not function properly if they are white while the counter top is black, who knew?

So we headed to the outlet center here in Calhoun and the local Kitchen Connection store.  If they make a gadget for the kitchen, you can most likely find it here. While browsing through the store I found the item pictured above and it just amused the heck out of me. I thought such a cruel and unusual punishment for a simple bread product was a bit overkill and I questioned the wisdom of using such a cruel symbol of historical proportions as a selling point for breakfast. I like mine with peanut butter. That being said I am planning on filing a patent for a chicken electric chair, I think it will be a huge hit. Personally I am still trying to find a place to store all my faux tupperware and couldn't imagine any more kitchen gadgets that I don't use constipating my kitchen arena. We did purchase a new BLACK coffee maker that I was assured by my bride would actually function and match the rest of the kitchen decor (thank goodness the guillotine currently only comes in white.) We were also on a gumbo ingredient run so we purchased a new crock pot that had a sealing lid for transport, this product only came in white but there was some strange amendment attached to the all black law that would allow it to function normally because it was not kept on a permanent basis on the black counter.

We then headed to Office Depot looking for a gift with no luck. We thought maybe we could purchase the unnamed item (still buying it as a Christmas gift for someone and don't want to spoil the surprise) at Walmart for a more reasonable price. No luck as Walmart was more expensive and crappier. We were going to purchase groceries and gumbo items at the Supercenter until we remembered Walmart sucks and we don't like shopping there.

Some of the main ingredients we like to put in my Gumbo can be difficult to find in Georgia so we drove 23 miles to the nearest Publix grocery store in Cartersville. After years of living in Florida and experiencing Publix on a regular basis I can tell you they are not the cheapest but the finest grocery chain anywhere. We were able to find real Andoille sausage and all the seafood we needed. Including a strange seafood combo bag that included octopus, clams and mussels, Unfortunately it was not the nirvana we were hoping for as the had no Roux or seafood stock. The four gallons of gumbo that it produced was some of my finest ever though.

The strangest thing we found that Publix carried though was cat milk. I thought that was pretty neat as anyone who has ever raised a very small kitten would sure find it useful. Then, like usual, I thought deeper. If there is a market for cat milk, then wouldn't there have to be a cat ranch somewhere producing it? I had never heard of a cat rancher and pitied the poor fool that actually had to milk them. I think I need to investigate further or wait for the 60 minutes expose or the PETA protest of the cruel treatment of cats on these ranches.

So at the end of the day no cats were hurt in the writing of this blog, fresh coffee is now available on a daily basis in my kitchen and I have the ability to transport large quantities of hot liquid without it ending up in my backseat or floorboard.  All in all I would call that a successful shopping adventure.




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