First the great news. After six years working with the same group of people, I have the opportunity to move on. I have accepted a similar position with a different company and am looking forward to the next chapter(s) of my life.
Now with all new jobs, they have certain skill tests you must successfully navigate in order to join their ranks. A lot like joining a fraternity I suppose. The first daunting task I was assigned was to successfully fill a cup with my own body fluid. While this seems simple enough a well thought out plan is always necessary in order to succeed.
My problem was two fold. First I didn't have a lot of time to accomplish this task and secondly I am not a prodigious fluid producer. So I had a plan, but not a good one. I had to ingest more fluids than normal.
While a 40 oz beer would have produced the desired effects there was multiple problems. One I don't drink 40s, it was 8 am and the wisdom of drinking beer in the vehicle on the way to a drug and alcohol test seemed defeatist in nature.
So on to plan B. A 1 liter of Diet Mountain Dew and a 1 liter of water. Damn you metric system! This plan also had problems. This is the part where I give you good advice that you may be able to use yourself later. If you must accomplish a similar task I would highly suggest a non carbonated beverage in order to prevent bloating and nausea. Secondly if you are not used to drinking this amount of fluid that early in the day you need to be in shape because you will spend the better part of half a day running to the loo.
Good news though, mission accomplished and I think I got in my work out for the day. Not only that I think I'm one of a small pool of candidates actually eligible to ride in the Tour de France and play Major League Baseball.
I can't wait to see what other exciting tasks they have in store for me.